To everybody who wants to kno wat happened and everybody deserves a giant apoplogy from me READ MORE
Okey, my uncle died aprroximately 20 days ago. (i counted.) as u all kno My uncle (my real father figure) has been having cancer for 6 months and i didnt kno until he told everybody when he had it for 3 months. we know he had some back problems during the time he was hiding it but when it got worse he decided to tell us. i didnt take easy. i spent more time with him making sure he gets better with prayers and he did. but its cancer. when minute the patient is all fine and energetic and then the next he coughing up blood and stayin in bed. when Uncle Ben annouced his cancer, my whole outlook on life changed. i never thought i had to go through being like "that person" but then i did. You all kno how much of an impact he had on me.
His brother is my "father" and he abused me and my whole family. but my uncle had helped us through it and helped us actually report him. He helped me with my random rape. He helped me and my family and i didnt think i could live without him. Everybody that has ever been in the same room with him unkowingly love him. I was proud to say that he was any close to becoming my family.
The night i found out he was taking to the hospital for the last time, was the night that everybody was a having a family meal at my house and he was invited, then he goes to the bathroom and then we hear a scream of agony, and then we take him to the hospital. The doctor came out and told us this was it and they didnt kno if he was gonna die in the next months or 15 minutes. we were losing him. and they said he can revive himself or lose himself. He said that there was no choice of surviving this and he will die but they dont know when. so he suggested that we go see him. he wanted me to be the last one to see him.
When it was my turn he told me all these words to me and that i will not repeat anything to anybody but i will tell you this that he said that i needed to not grieve over him. he said that he didnt want me to forget him. why would anyone want to forget. all the things ive had with him before the cancer was great even during the cancer. He didnt say goodbye to me but see ya lateer Joannie.
I held his hand when he died. I gave a eulogy at the funeral. i dont want to repeat it. I stayed in my room and ignored everybody . i felt alone and i didnt want to come out for anybody. not even Curtis. i really did feel like i was on only one planet without other life. I didnt go to school i did my work and i played music, writing in a journal and i almost tried to kill myself again, then i knew that he wouldnt want to see me so soon and for other reasons not to do. it then all my friends and family had an intervention with me last night, and now im all good
i wont forget Ben Walters.
I am sorry
